Finding Clarity
by chicagochi4183
Summary: When Claire was twelve she dreamed of Quil proposing to her. When she was seventeen she dreamed of him asking her on a date. Now she's twenty-one, and she wonders if he'll ever see her like that at all.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own any of these characters or this world. Just my plot.**

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><p><span><strong>Introduction<strong>

Ever since I was a little girl, my world has consisted primarily of adults. Although I love my older sister Caroline, my best friends have always been people much older than me. There's Emily, my aunt, and her husband Sam. There's Leah and Seth, who are technically related to me somehow but mostly served as last-minute babysitters. There's Renesmee, Jake's girlfriend, who seemed magical to me when I was little. Then Jake and Embry, who hang around me all the time. But the biggest culprit in this is Quil Ateara.

When I was four years old, I went to live with my aunt Emily on the Quileute reservation. Every night before I went to bed, she would tell me the story of the Quileute protectors: shape-shifters who took the form of wolves and prowled at night to keep us all safe. She told me stories of vampires, both good and evil, creatures who looked like beautiful people but could kill you in an instant and suck you dry. She told me about a special magical bond between these shape-shifters and regular humans. She called it imprinting; told me that once a wolf imprinted they would stay with their imprint until that person died.

I met Quil Ateara when I was two years old. He hasn't really left my side since.

I was seven years old when I finally grasped that Quil hung around all the time because he had imprinted on me. I think the council wanted to spare me that realization until they thought I was old enough to handle it, but one day it just clicked. Quil was and is my absolute best friend. He was there for me when I learned to ride a bike, when I learned to surf (somewhat), when I first jumped off a cliff (and every time after that), when I lost my first tooth, when I had my heart broken, and every moment in between. Even seven-year-old me could tell that a teenage boy should at least get bored of me. Quil never did.

Now, I don't want to make him sound like a creep. Quil never did anything inappropriate, never once even thought of it. He was like my older brother. He watched out for me, he made sure I was okay, he took care of me, and that was it.

When I was seven, that was great. When I was twelve, that was romantic. When I was seventeen it started to be a bit smothering.

You see, around age twelve I started to notice that all of the other imprint pairs did romantic things. They got married. Then went on honeymoon. They kissed. Some of them all the time. When I was twelve I thought that kissing Quil would be the best thing that ever happened to me. I would make secret boards on pinterest about our wedding and show them to Caroline and my best friend Roxanne. But he was so old and I was so awkward, that I knew he couldn't possibly feel that way. So I waited. In the meantime, I said yes when other boys asked me out. Quil never seemed to care. He'd ask my how the dates went but there was no malice in his tone. He even really liked one of them, my sophomore year boyfriend Harris, and seemed almost more disappointed than I was when we broke up.

Senior year I kept myself single. I told myself that this would be the year. Although Quil is technically much older than me, werewolves don't age. He's in his early to mid-twenties in appearance and he'd stay that way forever if he kept shifting to his wolf form. I thought, now that I was on the verge of adulthood, Quil would surely start to see me differently. He didn't. He never asked me out, he never tried to kiss me, and he never acknowledged that I was getting any older at all. When I was seventeen, Quil's unfailing loyalty to me as his best friend started to make me feel claustrophobic.

Not many imprints go to college. Not many kids from our reservation in general go to college, but especially not imprints. Once you find your soul mate, I guess most girls don't see the point. Rachel, Paul's imprint, had already gone to college but still came back to the res. Renesmee, Jake's imprint, took online courses at the demand of her parents but also moved in with Jake as soon as she could. My aunt Emily wasn't going to college anyways when she met Sam, so it came as a surprise to nobody when she didn't change her mind. Kim had a bright future ahead of her, but instead she and Jared eloped and she started a business. To her credit, her little jewelry business is very successful, but I'm sure her parents were disappointed.

When I announced that I was planning on going to Washington University to study nursing, I expected there to be an outcry. I expected for someone to at least be shocked. Instead I got unfailing support from everyone, especially, you guessed it, Quil. To be fair, he has known since I was thirteen that I wanted to be a nurse. Everyone has. I love helping people and being with children, and nursing lets you do both. We also really do need a nurse on the res. That being said, I expected at least some disappointment.

When I was accepted, Early Decision, into Washington University's nursing program, with a full-tuition scholarship, Quil threw me a party. I thought there might be some heartfelt declaration of love. I thought he might make a move. Instead, he told everyone how proud he was of me, and told me not to get in too much trouble with the white boys down in Seattle.

Quil is always teasing me that I'm "too pretty for my own good" but he never says it like it means anything to him. He says it like my dad would say it, and if that's not sad I don't know what is. Freshman year, Quil visited me every night without fail, until I told him that he was putting a real damper on my social life. Even after I said that he still gave me money for books when I couldn't afford a textbook spring semester. Sophomore year my roommate Eloise thought he was my boyfriend because he came over as much as possible. When I told her he wasn't, she told me I needed to put a ring on it.

Junior year I had saved enough money working at the campus bookstore to cover the cost of a semester abroad with my scholarship. I decided to go to London and take courses at King's College. This might not have been my smartest decision, as I'm a very shy person. While the other kids in our program went out all the time I stayed in a lot skyping Quil, my sister, my parents, Emily and Sam, but mostly Quil. However as I got more comfortable, I started to have fun.

Being in London was an amazing experience. But I have to admit, I had an ulterior motive. I thought Quil would miss me more while I was in London, and maybe come to realize feelings for me. No such luck. When I came back things were the same as they'd always been. And although Jake and Embry made fun of him for constantly worrying about me, I was still little baby Claire-Bear.

The thing is, I don't mean to sound like some kind of desperate, immature little girl. I don't spend all of my time worrying about Quil. But I do want what every other imprint pair has. I want to date Quil, I want to get married to Quil, I want to have sex with Quil, and more than anything I want Quil to love me like I love him. Once upon a time I convinced myself that having Quil by my side in any capacity would be enough. Now I'm just a few months shy of twenty-two and to be honest, it's the worst.

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><p><strong>More info on my profile. Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think with a review!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

When Claire was twelve she dreamed of Quil proposing to her. When she was seventeen she dreamed of him asking her on a date. Now she's twenty-one, and she wonders if he'll ever see her like that at all.

I don't own any of these characters or this world. Just my plot.

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><p><span><strong>One<strong>

"How does it feel to be a working woman?" Emily, as usual, was smiling at me over breakfast. Senior year, after obsessing over not being employed for an entire semester, I accepted a position as a nurse in the maternity and neonatal division of the local hospital. For my first day, Emily cooked me a huge breakfast. I think she knew I'd be nervous.

Lost in my thoughts, I didn't realize I'd forgotten to answer her until she cleared her throat. I looked up to respond but I was cut off as my baby cousins came running in. Emily wanted to wait to have children with Sam. I think they were trying when they took me in, but taking care of me consumed them instead. Then there was something going on that made Emily want to wait. I've never been told exactly what, but I know it had something to do with Leah. Still when the Cullens left, after agreeing to leave the fully-grown Renesmee here, Sam stopped phasing and they started trying.

Faith is nine, and I can tell she's going to be a knockout just like Emily. Emma is seven, and she's adorable. Three year old Samson was a surprise baby, and I know Emily worries all the time about if he's going to change. But now that Sam doesn't anymore, and considering Brady and Collin were the last to make the change, I'm sure little Sammy is fine.

As usual, the three of them ran in to the kitchen.

"Cheerios! Cheerios! Cheerios!" Sammy cheered. I thought I was off the hook until Emily gave me a stern look.

"Emily, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be fine? I went through the training already."

"Momma, why can't I call you Emily?" Emma asked. Sammy was still keeping up his chant for Cheerios. Faith was in the pantry, calmly getting herself something to eat.

"Sam!" Emily called as she turned to Sammy.

"Sammy, how do we ask for things?" As usual, Sammy gave a frustrated sigh before saying

"Momma, may I please have cheerios?" in his adorable baby voice. I heard Sam's footsteps coming down the stairs before I saw him.

"Ready for your first day at work Claire-Bear?" Years of hearing Quil call me that had everyone else calling me Claire-Bear too, despite how much I hated it.

"Emma, you can't call me Emily because I am your mother."

"Sam, don't call me Claire-Bear."

"Where is Quil?" That last question was Faith, poking her head out of the pantry. Not only had she grabbed the Cheerios for her brother, she'd also begun to pack her lunch for the day. Faith was one of the most self-sufficient children I'd ever known.

"That's a good question" I muttered. Technically, it was supposed to be difficult for imprints to be far away from who they imprinted on. But while Emily had told me privately that my being in London had been a train wreck for Quil, I almost didn't believe her. I know he missed me, it would be impossible for him not to. I missed him every single day. But Quil never seemed to have too much of a problem giving me space.

"Let me call him." Emily offered, but she didn't have to. As if summoned, Quil burst through the front door. He didn't even bother with formalities. Quil beelined straight for me, grabbing the empty chair next to me.

"Hey Claire-Bear! I am so sorry I'm late for your first day. I had a super late patrol last night and I may have overslept. Are you mad at me? Are you excited?" I wanted to be annoyed with him, both for being late and for calling me that stupid nickname, but I couldn't. That's the thing with Quil, I can never be mad at him. Instead I beamed up at him.

"I don't mind, I'm really excited. I mean, I'm nervous too, but also really excited."

"Well there's nothing to be worried about Claire. Not only did you graduate, with honors, less than a month ago, you're also kind of awesome." I frowned.

"Only kind of?" I asked. I was joking, but Quil didn't take it that way, immediately scooting closer to me.

"Of course not just kind of Claire. You're completely awesome and ridiculously incredible and" Quil grabbed my face and despite my better judgment I could feel my heart-rate pick up.

"You are going to be the best nurse this hospital has ever had." I swear I knew better, but a part of me thought Quil was going to kiss me then. That part of me was immediately disappointed when he instead kissed me absentmindedly on the forehead, before turning to his plate of food.

"Are you coming with me later?" I asked him. Quil, of course, insisted on dropping me off at my job. I didn't really complain because it would have been hard for Emily or Sam to do, and I didn't have a car. Oh, and because it meant I had a half hour car ride alone with Quil.

"You mean apartment hunting?" Quil was supposed to pick me up from work as well, however that day I would also be picking up my first check from the hospital for living expenses. I had already calculated the nicest place I could afford, and I was determined to find something nicer than my expectations for cheaper than my budget.

"Claire, I will say once again that you don't have to move out." Sam was trying to sound stern, but he'd picked Sammy up and Sammy was perched on Sam's shoulders, balancing his Cheerios bowl on Sam's head. Although I loved living with Sam and Emily, I knew I was getting too old to live with them, or with anyone.

"Thanks Sam, I appreciate it, but you can't protect me forever." I laughed. Quil rolled his eyes at me.

"Actually Claire-Bear, I can protect you forever." Quil said, as if I could ever forget. Looking at the kitchen clock, I sighed.

"You better shovel it down Quil. We only have two minutes left on my schedule before we have to leave." Quil's huge appetite may or may not have been another reason I was anxious to move out. Now that I had my own money, I wasn't going to make Emily keep paying and cooking to feed both Sam and Quil in addition to me and three children. The men can both practically eat their weight in food.

"Alright Claire." Quil is the only person in my life who has never once gotten annoyed with my scheduling and planning.

"But Claire, I think we need to talk about your apartment plans." I rolled my eyes at Quil, before getting up and bringing my dishes to the sink. I then went back for the first of Quil's plates and started washing while he finished off the second. Every time I watched Quil eat I was both fascinated and horrified.

"Claire I'm serious." Quil said when he finished off his second plate. He sprung up to the sink, gently bumping me aside, and took over the dishes.

"Talk about what Quil?" I asked, maybe slightly annoyed.

"We can talk about it in the car; I don't want to throw you off schedule." Quil said. He then proceeded to pick me up one-armed, grab my bag and jacket from their places by the door, and literally carry me and my things to his car. When he finally put me down, in the car, I slammed the door shut. Immediately Quil rushed to his side and got in.

"Are you mad Claire?" He asked. I looked at him, and he was grinning at me.

"You seem so sorry." I countered sarcastically. He shrugged.

"I never said I was sorry. Put on your seat belt." I rolled my eyes but did as he asked, waiting until he pulled out.

"About this apartment idea Claire? I was wondering…would you maybe just want to move in with me? I do have a two-bedroom."

I must have made a face to show my contempt for the idea, because Quil immediately began shaking his head.

"Hear me out. It just makes sense for several reasons. For one, you won't need an expensive burglary alarm system, because if anyone tries to mess with us not only will I scare them away, but nobody will believe them when they say what happened. You're my imprint. Having you live in the same place as me would make my job easier. I know you don't want to leave the res, and my house is on the res, unlike any apartment you would find. You've been to my place and stayed over enough times that the other bedroom is practically yours anyways. If you ever needed the car until you get your own, all you'd have to do is grab the keys." I took a deep breath to think, before formulating my answer.

"Quil. Any home I live in is having an alarm system, period. I was in college for four years and you lived." At this Quil muttered something under his breath, but refused to repeat it.

"You're right, I don't want to leave the res, but sometimes growing up means doing things you really don't want to do. I will concede your point about that being my second bedroom, although second implies a first. Also, if you or I had guests they would have to stay on the couch. Plus, I can afford a new car fairly soon. I've been saving and I'm going to use some of this first paycheck." I thought what I said was a sound argument, but Quil rolled his eyes.

"Claire, you also can't afford as nice of a place as I can, at least not yet. Plus, if you live with me it'll be free. That means you can start saving, and put that money away for nice furniture and kitchenware and a car of your own." That took me by surprise for a second. But then, I turned to face him.

"I'm just not sure it's a good idea Quil." I explained, frowning. I expected him to drop it, but Quil immediately looked sad. He turned to me then, and I knew I was done for.

"Come on, you're my best friend Claire-Bear. I literally can't imagine sharing a home with anyone else. How can you say no?" The truth was, I couldn't. Not once he said that. By the time he actually dropped me at the hospital, twenty minutes early for my shift, I had already agreed to move in with him. It was only as he was pulling away and I could feel myself start to miss him, that I realized how entirely stupid my decision was.

I didn't have much time to regret my choices. As soon as I entered the hospital, I immediately felt a rush of adrenaline. Despite the fact that I was already wearing my scrubs, I went to the nurse's room to put my stuff away in a locker, and take one last look at myself. By the time I made it to the nurse's station I was ecstatic.

A few people were already gathered at the nurse's station by the time I arrived, instantly making me a bit nervous. I moved closer to the desk, where all of our assignments would be handed out, and waited. To my surprise, everyone seemed to arrive on time. Mrs. Caplo, and older nurse, was the one to greet everyone assembled.

"Hello everyone! Welcome to our little staff. We are so happy to have received such a large grant to add such wonderful new nurses to our staff. Now, we want to make sure that you all get to know each other very well, as hopefully you'll be working together for a long time. We have two of you in the burn unit, three of you in neonatal intensive care, two of you in telemetry, two of you in the adult surgical heart unit, and three of you in the orthopedics. Why don't you introduce yourself, say where you're from and where you're working?" Mrs. Caplo smiled expectantly, and a beautiful brunette spoke up.

"My name is Olivia Lee. I'm from Montana. I'm going to be working in neonatal intensive care, and I am very excited to be working with all of you? Who else is in neonatal?" I hesitated, and a tall man with disheveled red hair jumped in.

"I'm Liam. I'm from New Mexico. I'm also very excited to be working in neonatal and with all of you. I've been a nurse for four years now, so if you ever get nervous just talk to me. Anything you could mess up I've probably messed up worse, and I'm still here." Liam laughed. I took a deep breath, then said,

"Hi, I'm Claire. I'm Quileute, from the reservation north of Forks. I love babies and I've always wanted to be a nurse. Nice to meet you all." I had to fight not to give a sigh of relief when it was over.

"Well, I can go next. My name is Velma. I'm from Texas. I'm working in the burn unit." Velma was all curves and wavy hair, and everyone could tell she owned it. It was hard not to be envious, and I wondered if Velma was born with the confidence she exuded, or if she'd picked it up over time.

"Hi everyone! I'm Beverly. I'm from Chicago, but city life isn't for me. I'm working in orthopedics." Beverly was tall, thin, and had the darkest skin I've ever seen. Between her and Olivia Lee, the hospital staff looked more like a runway show.

After her, one by one Jenna, Catherine, Bridget, Morris, Andy, Nicholas, Elizabeth, and Trystan introduced themselves. All of them were from Forks, and seemed to know each other very well. I knew Jenna and Andy from some classes at WashU, but seeing them with their friends made me feel totally out of her element. Part of me wanted to excuse myself and call Quil, but I knew I had to suck it up. Luckily, after a few more warnings and explanations, Mrs. Caplo dismissed us to get to work.

My first patient was with the daughter of a nineteen year old woman named Angie Price. It was Angie's first time seeing her baby since she'd been delivered, a month early, last week. She was nervous when she met me, but afterwards I was able to get her relaxed enough to just appreciate holding her daughter. Meeting with her gave me the boost of confidence that I needed to get through the rest of the morning.

When I went to lunch, I had a missed call from Emily. Immediately, I stood up and left the hospital cafeteria. I walked down the hall and out of a set of doors, standing outside just past some smoking nurses.

"Emily?" I asked, as soon as she said hello. Emily never called me unless something was wrong. She was much more of a text person.

"So Claire, I heard something interesting today. Here I was, trying to get my children ready for school, when Embry bursts in. You know how Embry still thinks he's welcome at any time. So, like the loving person that I am, I begin to make him breakfast. And then, he asks me when you're moving out. So, like the person who has taken care of you for your entire life, I asked him what he was talking about. I told him that you weren't looking for an apartment until at least after work today. And then, he said the funniest thing. He asked me why you would be looking for an apartment when you're going to move in with Quil." Emily paused then, and I could practically feel how displeased she was.

"You can surely understand my confusion, because the person I have raised as practically my own daughter would tell me if she made such a huge decision, wouldn't she? Claire?" When I stayed quiet, Emily sighed.

"When did this happen?" Emily asked.

"In the car. He roped me in Emily. I tried, really hard, to say no. But," I paused and I swear I could hear Emily shaking her head at me.

"But you can't say no to Quil. Well then, done is done I suppose. To be honest, I am fairly sure that Quil bought his two-bedroom with the hopes that you would move in with him so you are making him happy. Just, at the cost of your mental sanity." Emily paused then, and when she spoke again she sounded worried.

"Are you sure this is for the best Claire? I mean, there is nobody in the world that cares about you more, although I do think I give Quil a run for his money, but you don't have to do everything for him. You don't owe Quil anything for being imprinted on you. I know you wanted to date again, and that will be harder if you're living with a man, and doubly hard if that man is Quil. I just, I want to make sure that you're doing this for Claire, you know?" I sighed.

"Emily you're right, I don't owe Quil anything for being my imprint. But Quil is my best friend, and when it comes down to it,"

"You can't say no." Emily sighed again, but I could tell she was probably smiling. We got off the phone quickly after that, however by the time I got back to the cafeteria everything had changed.

All of the Forks people were sitting together, which wasn't a surprise. What was a surprise, however, was that Olivia Lee was sitting with them. The way she chatted and laughed, you'd have never known she just met them that morning – or that she hadn't worked with them all day.

At another table, Velma, Liam, and Beverly were sitting together as well. However, someone had taken the 4th chair to their table, and I didn't want to intrude by dragging a chair over to them. Instead, I sat by myself at a table – eating my home packed lunch quickly. It was easier that way anyways, eating lunch like that let me be the first person back on the floor. Before the hour was up, I was back in the swing of things at work. I wasn't set to actually work in the nursery with just the babies until I was in the hospital for a little longer, but I enjoyed walking past the window and waving at the babies all day as I spoke to their mothers.

When the day was over, Quil picked me up right on the dot. I knew I was beaming when I got in the car.

"That happy to see me Claire-Bear?"

"Quil, I had the absolute best day of my life today. I know this is going to sound weird, but I was sure that being a nurse wasn't going to be everything I wanted it to be. But it is. I got to make people smile today, you know? No deliveries yet, but I got to see all of the newborn babies waiting in the nursery for their moms and dads to take them home, and I got to see the little fighters who were doing their best to get to mom and dad as soon as possible. It was amazing."

"I'm really happy you're so happy Claire." I didn't even have to look at Quil to know that he was smiling. That was my favorite thing about Quil, when he said things like that he meant it. If anything, I'm pretty sure that Quil was even happier for me than I was.

Quil insisted on us moving my stuff into his home that day. We started with my sheets, though Sam and Emily kept my bed as a guest bed since Quil had a 2nd bed. Once my bed was made, I moved in my clothes, keeping most of them on their hangers or folded. My closet at Quil's was bigger than my closet at Emily's, so I was able to hang most of my clothes – meaning I could leave my dressers for Sam and Emily as well.

Other than that, I only had a few things. My keepsakes we took straight from the box in my room to Quil's attic. My shoes and things went into his hall closet, which he let me reorganize using my shoe organizer and an old shoe rack. Then, most of the decorations I had up went in a box, and when we got out Quil helped me organize things exactly how I wanted them. It was nice. By the time it was time for dinner, my life had been completely transferred. I ate dinner with Sam, Emily, Faith, Emma, and Sammy one last time, and that night I slept in my bed in my house. My house that I shared with Quil, the love of my life, and my seemingly eternal platonic best friend. 


	3. Chapter 3

When Claire was twelve she dreamed of Quil proposing to her. When she was seventeen she dreamed of him asking her on a date. Now she's twenty-one, and she wonders if he'll ever see her like that at all.

I don't own any of these characters or this world. Just my plot.

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><p><span><strong>Two<strong>

Many people in the world are shy. But that knowledge is not comforting when it seems like everyone around you isn't. All this to say, my first few weeks at the hospital were a bit rough for me.

Despite my misgivings, living with Quil really did turn out to be a great plan for me. Because a few other people on the rez worked with him, Quil let me drive his car to work for the first two weeks, until I had enough time to try out the used cars at a local car lot and buy one. I had more space at Quil's house than I did with Emily and Sam, and with none of my little cousins around it felt even more luxurious.

Whenever I missed Sam or Emily I could easily drive down to see them, and it was nice to spend time with everyone when I wasn't seeing them pretty much all the time. I appreciated seeing them. And of course, spending so much time with Quil was great.

But at the hospital, it was a different story.

Every morning, I would arrive at the hospital early. I wore my scrubs to work to avoid having to change, so being early gave me time to enjoy a mug of coffee before I checked my job posting. Then, checking my job posting early gave me time to make a round and visit with all of the awake babies before starting my assignments. It also let some of the night nurses off a bit earlier, which they appreciated.

While I was working, everything was great. I quickly came to love my job. Though some of the doctors could be a bit gruff, most of the doctors in neonatal were sweet, caring people who seemed to love their jobs. We delivered babies effectively, performed tests on babies, bathed babies and checked their tubes, fed babies, taught new mothers how to feed their babies, and everything else.

It was easy to get caught up in everything I was doing. I had wanted to be a nurse for a long time, and the job did not disappoint. But lunch became my own personal nightmare.

On my second day of work, I sat alone at a table and ate in ten minutes, and then I spent the rest of my lunch break with a newborn in neonatal who was born two months early. When it became clear to me that I wasn't going to magically gain a burst of confidence, I decided I needed a better strategy.

The next day, I called my sister. Caroline was so happy to hear from me, that she talked my ear off for all of lunch. Rather than being miserable and eating alone, I ate while I was on the phone. To my surprise, it worked. I got to stay occupied while I ate, and I hopefully didn't look completely lonely. So, it became a part of my routine.

It took away the awkwardness. Rather than intruding on someone else's lunch, or hoping for some nurses to take pity on me and invite me to sit with them, I could stay in my own bubble. When Quil asked me about work, I talked about how much I loved my job, and left out the social aspect altogether.

When I wasn't on the phone with Caroline, I spoke with Emily, Roxanne, my parents, anyone who I could possibly call. I had lively conversations at my solo lunch table, and when I was finished on the phone, I went back to work enthusiastically.

One of the worst things when you're shy is seeing someone who is not shy make everything look easy. For me, that person was Olivia Lee. After that first day, you would never know Olivia Lee hadn't spent her entire life in Forks, Washington.

Within two days, Olivia Lee was carpooling with Bridget and Morris. By the end of the first week, she had already made dinner plans with Bridget and Catherine. The three of them sat at their own table at lunch, laughing loudly about things they'd seen, the shows they watched together, and the shopping they did.

It made it hard not to dislike Olivia Lee. What made it even harder was that, as far as I was concerned, she was kind of a lazy nurse. It wasn't that she didn't do what she was assigned. But everything seemed like a chore to her, a task to get done. She barely spent any time with the babies, always checking them over and then moving on to the next thing. She spent a lot more time hanging around the doctors than her patients.

Liam, on the other hand, was pretty easy to work with. Like me, he seemed to get along okay with the other nurses on the floor, and he really seemed to like the babies. WE would chat occasionally, but at lunch he sat with Beverly and Velma. The three of them also seemed to get along very well.

I think Quil could tell after a while that something was up with me, mostly because I wouldn't let him come to the hospital to check on me. I told him I didn't want him treating me like a little kid, but as usual Quil saw through that. He was on alert, and that only made me tenser about being shy. Still, my phone trick kept me from looking utterly pathetic.

I was able to keep that up for a few weeks before my luck ran out. It was a Tuesday, and at that point Tuesdays were my unofficial Caroline days because she had her break at a similar time. Except, that Tuesday Caroline had to work through lunch and didn't have time to talk. When I tried to call Roxanne she didn't pick up. Emily was volunteering with Faith's class. I even tried to call Nessie and Quil, and both of them were busy as well.

My hands were tied. With nothing else to do, I reluctantly put my phone down. I tried not to look around, but as I started eating my eyes wandered. All of the Forks people plus Olivia Lee had pushed some tables together and seemed to be chatting about something or other. None of the older nurses from neo-natal had lunch at the same time as us, so there were no familiar faces.

Doctors I didn't know stared at me curiously as they took their lunches past my lonely table to sit down. I felt like a huge outcast. What I wanted to do, was excuse myself with my lunch and run out of the cafeteria to eat outside or on some stairs. Even some of the patient's families that used our cafeterias seemed to be staring at me warily.

The longer I sat there, the more I imagined how pathetic I had to look. I couldn't help it. I had come a long way with my shyness, but right then I felt like I was in middle school all over again. I was on the verge of calling it a towel and skipping lunch, when someone cleared their throat above me. I looked up to see Liam.

"Hey!" Liam was practically beaming. He looked way too excited for a mid-day lunch.

"Hi." I said. He took this as an invitation to sit down.

"You're not on the phone." He still had that bright smile.

"Oh. Yeah, not today." I said. If I couldn't stop myself from feeling pathetic I could at least try not to sound it.

"Well do you want to come sit with us?" Liam nodded over to where Beverly and Velma were staring at us. I made eye contact with both of them, then looked back to Liam. I had no good reason to say no, and I was grateful for the offer, so I started packing up my food.

"Is that a yes?" Liam asked, smiling. He ran a hand through his hair, making it even messier.

"Oh, uh, yeah." I said.

"Great!" We walked over, Liam still looking excited and me trying not to look nervous. I sat down next to him, opposite from Beverly and Velma.

"Hi." I said, when they both kept looking at me.

"You're Claire, right?" Beverly asked. I nodded. She smiled.

"I'm Bev. Who are you always talking to on the phone?" Velma jabbed Bev in the side.

"Ignore her. I'm Velma." Velma gave her a stern look.

"It's just a question, Velma." Beverly looked straight at me.

"Just family." I said. Beverly smiled.

"You and your family must be pretty close. That's nice. My family and I are kind of close, I guess, but I wouldn't talk to them every day. No boyfriend, fiancé, husband?" She asked. I shook my head.

"Liam, you never finished your story about the deviated septum." Beverly changed the topic, and so went the conversation. It was interesting to observe the dynamic between the three of them. Beverly was very chatty, and Velma jumped in often to tell her to calm down or back off. But it seemed like Beverly didn't mind – it's just how their friendship worked. Liam was more laid back. He spoke when he had something to say, but he didn't draw attention to himself.

Once the conversation had moved on, I didn't speak again. I couldn't tell if it was awkward, or just how they were. Liam didn't speak too much either once he'd finished his story, but I didn't speak another word. I just ate, laughed in the right places, and hoped it wasn't obvious that I was the odd one out in their group.

At home, over Chinese Takeout, Quil and I debated over the merits of baseball as a sport. He said I seemed livelier, and I told him that baseball would always be a better sport than basketball. Of course, he still told me that I was in a better mood and seemed happier, but he let it go.

The next day, Liam walked with me down to lunch, so that I had no choice but to sit with them. Again, I spoke hardly at all, mostly listening. But it was nice. If Velma or Bev minded they didn't say anything, and it was nice not to feel like a pariah. I was sure my family was wondering why I had spent so much time on the phone with them instead of living.

That night I told Quil about Liam. About his kindness in asking me to sit with them, and how uncomfortable I'd been before.

"Claire, you should have told me."

"Quil, what were you going to do. Come work in the hospital?"

"Hey, I could be a nurse if I wanted to." Quil teased.

"Yeah, but you don't want to, Quil. And it wasn't like it was terrible. I just appreciated him stepping in, you know? It made it easier."

"It doesn't matter if I want to, Claire. I would've. You're my best friend. But I'm glad I didn't have to. This guy sounds nice, all of them sound nice. I'm glad he offered. You keep sitting with them, too. You should have a good relationship with the people you work with."

I bit back a sigh, still smiling. Whenever Quil said nice things like that, I always had to check myself. Quil has a way of knowing exactly what I want to hear, and saying it. Hearing him say he'd become a nurse for me even if he didn't want to, was a bit too much. I wanted to lean over and kiss him. Instead, I stood and smiled.

"We eat too much takeout." I shook my head at Quil, who was starting in on his second entire pizza. He shrugged.

I moved into the kitchen to get a little space, and then sat down on one of our kitchen chairs and stared back at him. Quil was so easygoing, I was sure that like Olivia Lee, he could join the hospital staff and find his niche in one day.

"Tell me again how you used to be shy?" I called over. Not moving from the couch, Quil turned to face me, still holding a slice.

"I know you don't believe me Claire, but I was! Jake was charming and attractive and Embry was funny and outgoing and then there was me. I was just this awkward kid before I changed, and then after I changed I was this awkward kid who looked about twenty-five. Then I imprinted on you and I was this awkward kid who thought everyone else thought I was like some creep. But then, I got older and I just got over it. It just didn't matter so much anymore – especially when you grew into this amazing person and my best friend and I knew everyone was jealous about how awesome you are. I know you don't believe me, but age helps. I mean, you've gotten a lot less shy Claire-Bear." I shrugged.

"If you say so."

"You love that story, don't even play." Quil poked fun at me. I rolled my eyes, but he was right.

"Anyways, old Claire would have made up an excuse to get out of eating with them, but you didn't. And for the record, I'm proud of you." I smiled, how could I not?

"Thanks, Quil." I said. He shrugged it off, but I didn't.

"No really, thank you." Quil flopped back on the couch.

"It's not that big a deal, Claire." He said. But it was. It was part of why I loved him, no matter how much I was starting to wish I didn't.

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